Never play 2moons. Ever. Tell your friends and family the same. If you know someone who does play, advocate them to quit. As strongly and as much as you can. You know what? Don't even play any other games published by Acclaim Games ever. No, not the good old Acclaim Entertainment who brought you Turok. No. This is a new company that owns the rights to the name.

Heed this advice, and spread it around as much as possible.

Everybody on Lilo & Stitch has a dirty sanchez. All of the time.

SCOB1: Arch Enemy
(I'm going to review some bands now, god forbid anybody cares to read this. Oh well)
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A melodic death metal band, one of the most popular and "mainstream" out of the genre. I was hesitant to ever listen to them, usually because they're mallcore and I always thought they were mediocre garbage due to that. Well, not entirely. They certainly have their catchy melodic parts, but often something's amiss. I prefer Angela Gossow over Johan Liiva, so I'll only go over their newer work since that was somewhat a turning point.

Overall, after they got a new singer, things did change. Solos aren't as apparent; however, the guitaring feels overall more technical. Songs are fairly decent, and outweigh the number of bands I don't want to listen to for sure. That's always a good thing. It's melodic most of the time, and it doesn't seem like death metal on the occasion. They emulate the gothenburg sound as well, yet not as good as it could be like how The Haunted can pull it off.

The song structuring is typically very complex. The softer parts could be done better, due to weird rhythms. The heavy portions of the songs could have been heavier. I've certainly heard heavier. The vocals are perhaps some of the best growls I've experienced, especially for a female vocalist. Bass is an important aspect of the band to me, and Sharlee D'Angelo just doesn't cut it. He adds warmth, sure, but I'd prefer if he stuck out a bit more. The drummer, Daniel Erlandsson, is relatively hit-or-miss. Sometimes the drumming is very connected to a song, and sometimes it's just fucking everywhere. Alas, that's death metal. Can't be organized all the time, now can it?

Angela Gossow is like I stated before, a great growler. You can definitely make out the feminine tinge to the vocals. It isn't a bad thing; leaps and bounds better than most female vocals that's mainstream. And yes, I'm going to say about everything on the radio too. EVERYTHING. Well, save for Bikini kill, despite how bad they suck live.

Michael and Christopher Amott, two pseudo good guitarists. They undoubtedly have some fantastic work sometimes. -Most- of the time. The soft parts are again, pretty shoddy. Absolutely need to be heavier, and their solos aren't as great as I'd hope for them to be. Also they seem to have a problem with going from low to high register riffing, and trouble with repetition. Other than that, they're alright.

Sharlee D'Angelo, erm... Not much to say. He doesn't do it right. Doesn't stick out; doesn't lead, just follows. Sharlee, if you're reading, whenever you're recording, raise the freakin' volume. And have a solo. Or two. >.>

Daniel Erlandsson. Hmm. Fits in great about half the time. His drumming is in dire need of more fills, and fitting in with the guitaring. Sometimes whaling on double bass, snare, and hi hat works. Other times, especially the slower parts of songs, it just adds in a bunch of unnecessary... Chaotic... Shit. The tempo doesn't change for the better, and everything just sounds detached when that happens.

Generally, talent is spread out unevenly. It's an ALRIGHT band. Has potential.

I give 'em a 6.5/10. That's pretty good for someone who has such ridiculously high standards, such as myself.

=In conclusion=
Score: 6.5/10
Band's talent: Potentially pretty good
Notable band members: Didn't expect to say it, but Angela Gossow
Notable Albums: I'd have to go with Doomsday Machine
Notable songs: "Nemesis"
Notably Bad songs: "Kill with power". I know it's a cover, but man, those breaks with "DIE DIE" were so cheesy it's unreal
Do they suck live?: Sometimes, but for the most part, they're AWWWWW-RIGHT

Joking.

But I did beat a bowzah. I've come to the conclusion that all of the AI in Smash games are crap. The first one was meh. Kind of easy, though a level 9 fox seems to know (and abuse) the hitstun and keep you juggled with Uair. Samus is also one of the harder one's for some reason. Maybe it's because they fire the charge shot whenever you get close. <.<

Melee seems to have naturally difficult AI. Doesn't really do anything inhuman like, besides from perfect(/power) shielding, turning around, and grabbing in the most ridiculous of circumstances. Brawl does the same thing, except several, several times worse due to how campy it is. Air dodging has changed, they'll ground dodge a lot, have more priority, and an added bonus, do impossible things! I've been hit/grabbed while rolling, air dodging, ground dodging, had them shield a fully charged shield breaker, hit/grabbed without an animation, been attacked by a helpless/stunned CPU, and much more.

It's bad enough they have perfect aim/shielding, insanely fast response time, and can read my button input, but come on! The **** they pull is ludicrous. Personally I like the first two games AI better just because of how cheap brawl's is, though melee's seems to utilize your button input a bit more. And they can power shield.

Moogles pompoms. A new fetish.

TL;DR
This is a story about a girl, who has experiences based off of combining random confessions on that group hug site.
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Wendy was asleep, dreaming of having intense, heated sex with her cousin. Not a male cousin either. She woke up in her own ejaculate.
Wendy is confused about her sexuality. She loves internet pornography.
Every time she thinks about someone, she pictures having sex with them. It's how she determines if she's attracted to them or not.
When she was visiting a friend, her friend started making out with her and dry humping her. Wendy didn't want to take her virginity.
Wendy masturbates to pictures of girl's in the early stages of puberty.
Wendy is distant with her family. No one knows about her sexuality other than her.
Wendy masturbates in her friend's car.
Wendy is afraid of opening her bedroom door after dark, so she pees in her cat's litter box.
She wants to have anal sex with a muslim girl.
Wendy has an obsession with the first generation of power rangers.
Wendy masturbates with vegetables.

End.
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My made up statistics about that site:
About 1/3 of all of the confessions on it are about relationships. Another 1/3 is about sex, masturbation, fetishes/crushes, etc. And the rest is other types of confessions, and overlaying all of that, I'd guess a good portion (at least less than half of all of them) is spam and trolling.

A lot. Definitely rubberbanding AI. Not cool.

Anywho, just a little list of what they can do, that YOU can't.

Level 9 CPU opponents can;
-Grab you out of the air in height you normally couldn't be
-Grab you at an extended distance mobile or not
-Can grab you without an animation
-Grab you while you've got them locked in a combo and juggling them
-Cancel out landing lag from attacks, jumping, being hit, etc
-Perfect shield with inhuman accuracy
-Grab, turn around, and attack with inhuman accuracy
-Has resistance to knockback you normally wouldn't
-Ground dodges with inhuman procession
-Steal smash balls (As in, if you break it, they can get it)
-Steal ko's (as in a ko YOU get in a timed match, and it goes to a CPU for some reason)
-Shield a fully charged, tipped shield breaker WITHOUT THEIR SHIELD BREAKING
-Attack while helpless or stunned
-Read what button input you give
-"Learns" attack patterns (I.E. combos) you've done
-Has boosted priority
-Etc

The AI is very weird in Brawl. Well, they're not like Melee where Link and Samus were the most annoying because they'd grab you over and over and over.... Now it's like that with everybody.

Problems players will encounter while playing Phantasy Star Universe, due to poor development on Sega's side.

1). Why the hell isn't there a pause button in offline mode?
2). Why the hell is internet connection required to play OFFLINE mode?
3). Even though love interest is tossed around everywhere, why does the main character have to be so gay?
4). Furthermore, even if he is gay, where is the lesbian love interest to balance things out?
5). Why do you have to be so goddam close to activate SEEDS so you can "see" them, why the hell can't you see them in the first place, why is this gameplay element even in the game, and who the hell was dumb enough to think of putting it in there?
6). Why does the keyboard controls have to be so fucking awkward? Why can't you customize them? Why can't you control the freaking camera?
7). Why the hell do you have a limit of photon art? Or inventory space. Or boards when synthesizing items. Or save slots.
8). How the hell can this game STILL lag? Honestly, these graphics are very shoddy , and even after upgrading, it still manages to lag? How? HOW?! People have claws for hands in this!
9). Why are you using GameGuard?
10). Why did you have to make that getting into any other screen whatsoever outside of the game in full screen closes it? No ctrl-alt-del, no alt-tab, I mean come on.
11). Why can't you use the mouse in full screen?
12). Have you ever heard of anti-aliasing?
13). What gives with all of the 2D stuff? =/
14). You know, after charging people to play your servers, the hell do you close them down for? There can't possibly be THAT little of players.
15). Ever going to support LAN or private networks?
16). Why is there so many dialog boxes in item synthesis? It's unnecessary.
17). Couldn't you have connected the dialog and sub titles together? And made it more um... Flowing. The voice acting isn't as bad as the old Sonic Adventures, but those were considerably fun and innovative.
18). Why can't you merge single handed weapons together, or split dual wielding ones, Or change the which hands they're in?
19). I thought Extra Mode was supposed to have everything your story mode has. Which it doesn't. Also, it would have been nice if the NPC's from the story mode were there. Make things less lonely, ya' know?
20). Couldn't you have added some sort of way around faster?
21). Why can't you draw weapons outside of battle? I know that, yeah, it's outside of battle and all, but in other games you can do it....
22). Why can you no longer use as many grinders as you want on a weapon without worrying about failing anymore?
23). Why are daggers so much different now? Where is the floaty-back thing? I miss them. T.T

Iron Man and transformers. I'll try to be quick on this one. I not exactly the movie type. I prefer games as an entertainment medium. Oh well.

Iron man. Well, this one was a bit weird. It tried to keep things modern, and stick somewhat to iron man's origin and all. Tried. It was a pretty good movie though. Seemed to lack enough action scenes. I mean, there's very little fight scenes with him in his suit and all, which you want to see the most. It's dying for more to it, so I can see sequel potential. The camera work was alright, though kind of awkward at some points. The soundtrack was... Erm. Filled to the brim with awesome, yet generic songs that I've heard too much. Plus they HAD to throw in Iron Man by you know who somewhere in there. At least they did better than fucking transformers. Overall, good movie I suppose. Needs a sequel.

Transformers. Whoo. Well. Certainly has build up to it. The camera work is mostly like all of the awkward parts from Iron Man, except concentrated and used a lot. There was lots of debris, the city clusterfuck, and overall bad lighting. Most of the time, it was either too bright, or too dark. They seemed to be just playing around with it, and making it seem like it was more from our perspective. Which doesn't really give you that good of a view of the action. The sound, well, it was alright... Until the very end. The song that plays at the end of the movie kills it. I mean not like it made the movie unwatchable, but it sucked. Hard. Zebra cock. If you seen it, you'll know what I'm talking about.

Now to get into the story... Um. As you can see, this deserves it's own paragraph. They've fucked up here. Like, killing off random characters for no good reasons. I mean with decepticons, it's plausible, seeing as they have to be recurring characters, or else who would the autobots fight? They go through all kinds of hell. Now with autobots? What? Oh well. At least it wasn't as bad as The Transformers: The Movie. Or Star Wars episode III. Or 99.9% of horror films. Anywho, the sequel potential here seems to be fucked up, but according to wikipedia, it will have a sequel. Meh. It was an alright movie. The ending was very sour though. Very sour indeed.

All in all, it was alright. Both could have been better.
:EDIT: Actually, I take everything back about Transformers. Actually being more objective and thoughtful watching it, and with the help of my delightful friend who's infinitely more knowledgeable about the film industry; Transformers was a fucking horrible movie that didn't make any goddam sense at all.

Hard. And I mean HARD. That floppy donkey dick everything else is so fond of? Not this time. HARD.

So, back in the day, when I was an internet neophyte, I used AOL, and internet explorer. As the years passed, I learned that Firefox was an alternative. It was better in every way. And it had fox in the title. I like foxes. I never used it then though, despite what I knew about it. And virus's came, and ads, pop-up's, and all that good stuff.

Now, years later, as a seasoned internet user, I've learned to stay FAR away from IE. Firefox is great, but not without it's troubles. Recently I've been getting some bug with firefox, that whenever I view a youtube video, and move away from that page, it'll go unresponsive, and/or crash afterwords. This is a major problem, seeing as how much time I spend on youtube. It's one of my most visited sites, outside forums, search engines, porn, porn forums, porn search engines, porntubes, and image/gfx related sites(/porn). I looked it up, and it seems other's have this problem too, but it's a problem with flash, and they never have fixed it....

So, I had to find an alternative to firefox. Precious firefox, one of the best browsers you can get. My friend had problems with firefox 3, so he tried opera. Opera worked alright for him, so I wanted to see if it was reliable as Firefox. Well, it works fairly well. It's a lot better than internet explorer (eat a big hard donkey dick microsoft), so that's great. Opera is pretty good, very fast, and works well overall, just it doesn't have some of the quirks firefox does. For one, security. In this world, flash has came great distances, and not in a good way. There's oh-so-many of those flash based ads with sound, that now can expand and block a good portion of your screen. Some of the worst ones can't be closed unless you stop the flash's script from running and redirect you to malicious sites.

Opera doesn't have what I miss in firefox. NoScript is a MIRACLE of an add-on. Than another one of my favorites is CookieSafe. Essentially, it gives you control over cookies, and that can stop a lot of trackers (and viruses too). Then you have search result scanners (like from google) such as McAfee SiteAdvisor and MyWOT (my web of trust). Those are nifty too. Unfortunately, Opera doesn't have these features available for it currently, but it does have it's own precautions by default. You can control what java scripts are allowed, displaying images, blocking sites by name (why the hell doesn't Firefox have that?), cookies, etc. My problem with this is the interface isn't as fluent as just having an add-on, and it doesn't block these things beforehand (proactive > reactive). What's the point of being able to disable a site's cookies when you haven't been able to it before, you don't know how safe it is, and once you've been there you could have already got something?

So Opera has it's fair share of problems, which isn't to say that firefox doesn't have some either. Firefox has given me a reasonable amount of trouble with CookieSafe and NoScript on some sites; not to mention some can't work with it (like the korean version of Dekaron's site, which requires IE). Or captchas, because sometimes they don't work AT ALL.

I don't know. Maybe I can find the root of firefox's crashing problem with youtube and fix it one day. If that happened, I'd surely go back, but there's a few things I'd miss. The smaller interface, mouse gestures, and browser identification is a few of them. Then again, I miss a decent flv downloader that works quickly like realplayer's, but unfortunately that one can only be used with IE and Firefox 2.

In conclusion, I'll run down each of the broswers I've tested so far;

%u2022Internet Explorer: Sucks ass. Use only when absolutely necessary unless you like pop-ups and virus's.
%u2022FireFox 2: Has the most working plugins and add-ons. HUEG improvmnt ov iez.
%u2022Firefox 3: A little slower than firefox 2, can't use some of the best plugins or add-ons that firefox used to be able to (lazy developers suck). Still pretty good.
%u2022Opera: Loads better than IE, not as good as Firefox in my opinion due to the fact you have to install a bunch of other shit for certain features to operate, doesn't have as good plugins or "widgits" as Firefox.

And there's my little rant on browsers. Maybe someone knows what to do about the Firefox/youtube problem and can help out.

Until next time,
Sappy.

PS: John Avon really does the best art for lands, amirite?